From the Abundance

  I've been having a lot of conversations about love and relationships lately, some in therapy with clients, some with friends, and some with the Father. I realized that over the past 12 years I've had to relearn everything I thought I knew about love.  It really started when my dad passed away, and the Lord whispered John 15:13 (Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.), in my spirit, letting me know that his death was a necessity because of His love for certain other members of our family.  To clarify, let me provide a little context.  My Father was the glue that held his family together, and what God showed me was that some of them wouldn't surrender while he was here, holding everyone and everything together.  The second incident happened when I told my family that I was moving to Florida, and my granny broke down.  She went into a fit of righteous anger, pleading, crying, and telling me that God didn't tell...

  February 6th marked 10 years in Daytona Beach.  I could say a lot about what's happened over these last ten years, but I'll save that for the book I'm writing.  What I will say is this: when God tells you to go, you pack your things and GO! Moving was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, but the best act of obedience and decision I've ever made. In the past 10 years, I've made some beautiful friends who became my second family, and worked with incredible families in the community. written books, been on TV, Podcasts, and in the newspaper, won an award for my work, helped plant a ministry, started a singles ministry, and even opened my own practice.  Why does all that matter?  Before I moved, I was praying, and nobody knew what I was praying about.  I spoke with a friend for the first time in about two years,  and she prophesied, telling me what the Lord was showing her about my life and my relocation to Florida.  She told me in a nutshell...

The last 5 months have been one of the craziest periods of my life.  I met an amazing man, lost my mom, spent almost 2 months in KY, came back to Florida and hosted my first mental health retreat, accepted a great position for mental health with Vibe Church, car broke down, got a new one, got sick and ended up in the hospital for 6 days, had a hole in my belly, diagnosed diabetic, watched one of my best friends marry the love of her life, did a week of IV antibiotics at home (I was a whole fake nurse yall), brunched with Anchor & Bloom, celebrated the newlyweds at church and give myself shots 5 times a day... whew. That was a lot!  That's just what was happening on the outside.  Inside, I was like Dorothy when the tornado scooped her up from Kansas.  A complete whirlwind of emotions.  Some days I was ok, others I was in complete shambles.  I was in disbelief at the loss of my mom but somehow calm at the same time. I was sad and devastated, but also at p...

This summer was one for the books!  I got to spend four beautiful months pouring into my youngest baby. Those of you who know me, know I don't have any biological children, but what you may not know is that I have beautiful baby girls that I get to be a bonus mom to.  So my second baby's biological mom transitioned shortly before she turned two, she's five now. When I got the call about her mom being sick, God told me she wouldn't be coming home and that I would be a part of her life for as long as God allows.  This summer was full of firsts for both of us.  My first summer being solely responsible for a child, her first summer at camp, her first flight, her first time meeting her village, her first swim lesson, my first time bringing someone home to meet my family, and my first time questioning every choice I've ever made in life.  I've never questioned wanting to be a mother or have a family but having these months with her made me question the other choices I...

What do you do when God tells you "hands off" and you're watching someone you love suffer or Photo by Samuel Martins on Unsplash struggle, sometimes in the fight of their life? You take your hands out of the situation and let them wrestle with God. You pray and watch and pray some more. You give them words of encouragement when God allows. You gather your intercessor friends to help you pray and you keep praying and covering them. It's difficult to watch somebody go through something that you could easily fix or know the solution to but God tells you no. You could help but God says you've done enough, this is between me and them. This obedience is a different kind because it requires us to stay in our place like the children we are. You can argue with ya momma or daddy but you can't argue with God.  If you're anything like me, you don't try to! You pray & cry and keep your mouth closed and your hands in your pockets. Why is this importa...

  Photo by Jason Leung on Unsplash Sometimes I have so many things I want to say but various traumas keep my mouth closed.  Sometimes it's the thought of how I'll be perceived, what my confessions and declarations will incite, who will use my words against me, and even if I'll be understood. So like Mary, I have learned to ponder things in my heart. It's not uncommon to have a thousand things going on in your head at once but you've gotta be careful not to let all those things run free for too long.  It creates this crazy invisible pressure that makes you feel like you've gotta do everything right,  by yourself,  now,  or simply like YOU HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING THAT COMES INTO YOUR MIND!  Let me tell you something,  it's a lie! Stop, breathe, and take a step back. You're not a robot,  a factory that constantly has to produce, or a superhero. You're a human...a complex spiritual being living a fleshly experience in a chaotic world. That means t...

  Photo by Kitera Dent on Unsplash Everybody loves a good fairytale and often our expectations are just that, a fairytale.  Most of the time when we see a castle, we think of fairy tales and happy endings.  I can't help but think about a lot of the other things that happen behind palace walls while the outside world is fantasizing about being on the inside. Think about Bathsheba, minding her business taking a bath, and becoming the object of the king's desire.  Her life was turned upside down because the king's lust overcame him.  She tried to do the right thing and even asked him not to, saying if you just ask my husband, he'll oblige.  Did that stop him? No!  So fast forward and now she's pregnant, but her husband's been away at war. The king tried to cover up his mess but her Husband was a dedicated soldier.  What did that win him?  A set up to be murdered. He was sent to the front lines and was murdered at the king's command. On top of a...

Photo by  Kelly Sikkema  on  Unsplash When I asked God for the gift of healing I had absolutely no idea what I was really asking for.  I just knew that when I looked around, a lot of people were sick and hurting and I wanted to do something about it.  As I got older and matured in the things of Christ, I knew that healing wouldn't be just physical.  I knew that I was in for a crazy ride when God told me, "I have to keep breaking you in order to heal them". Sounds crazy right?  It's really not. Psalm 51:17 says  My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.  I wish someone would have told me what I was asking for when I asked God to break my heart with the things that break His heart.  That's a big, crazy, bold prayer.  I could have never imagined that it would lead me down the path that is has thus far.  I said all of that to say this... if you have a friend that has h...

Photo by  Dariusz Sankowski  on  Unsplash I took a very unintentional hiatus from blogging over the past few months and tonight  friend reminded me that I needed to get back to it.  So here I am!  I have so much to say but I often find it difficult to express or struggle with just putting things out there.  This post will be the first of several.  There are lots of things on my heart and mind so it's time I get back to sharing. John 4:24 NLT says, For God is Spirit, so those who worship him must worship in spirit and in truth. In order for us to render proper worship unto God we have to walk in our truth, no matter what that is.  When we refuse to or don't acknowledge parts of our truth it can hinder our worship.  Honestly, our truth isn't always pretty, it isn't always what's expected or considered "proper", but it is what it is.  So here are a few of mine... Even though I live a life poured out, I often don't feel ful...

Photo by  Sydney Zentz  on  Unsplash Over the past two weeks, I've gone through some pretty big things.  I went to the hospital 3 times, was admitted and spent the night, saw my primary care  4 times and spent several days and nights in excruciating pain.  After several attempts to get some relief from the pain, I was finally sent for a CT Scan only to discover that my spine is pressing on the nerves in my spinal cord. Suddenly the thing that the rude ER nurse told me I should manage at home was a legitimate issue.  Suddenly I had a reason for screaming out in pain in the ER.  Suddenly I was a patient and not a burden.... Suddenly I went from being healthy to taking 6 different meds and being in a medicated stupor just to manage the pain.   Suddenly I had high blood pressure and high blood sugar.. the things I've worked so hard to avoid.  Suddenly, I was unable to drive or perform most of my normal functions wit...

Photo by  ANDRIK LANGFIELD PETRIDES  on  Unsplash I do a post every year for my birthday reflecting on the things I've learned, what I hope for moving forward, and just where I am in life.  This year I had a different kind of birthday so I wrote a different kind of post.  Hope it still blesses somebody!  Sometimes when you're wired to give and pour out and nurture others you can feel invisible.  Most days I spend my day taking care of other people, helping families, and  keeping children from being removed from their families.  I take crisis calls, ims, and emails all day and try to be a listening ear for friends and family when needed.  Sometimes I feel like I've disappeared and all people see is the gifts, the talents, the benefit of having me around. I love that I can be and do all of those things but at times I feel like screaming , "Hey I'm human too ya know!"   "I need someone to support and encourage me."  "It ...

The post I should be writing would be entirely too long to hold anybody's attention.  It would be a stream of consciousness, dumping of the thoughts, cleaning out your brain type of post.  Instead I'll tell you what I learned during this year's hurricane.  This is my second hurricane season in Daytona Beach and this time I chose not to stay.  I was blessed to have a friend take me in and let me crash at her house.  She was a true blessing and the time during the storm was like being at a retreat.  I learned a few things this year that I really wasn't expecting to learn, but I'm glad I did. 1.  When the eye of the storm passes over, you see everything clearly.  The eye of the hurricane is usually the most pronounced part, and although chaos is raging all around it, remains fairly peaceful. In the middle of everything crazy, there's always a moment of clarity where you see exactly what you need to see.  This lesson came for me through s...

This may be one of the realest posts I've ever written but there are just some things that I  need to get off of my chest.  For the past few weeks I haven't written much of anything.  I've been in a funk and maybe even slightly depressed.  Life has been whooping my tail.  Honestly I feel like Martin when he fought Tommy Hitman Hearns. The level of weariness I've felt in my spirit has been beyond exhausted. I feel like I've been fighting and fighting then falling into my corner of the ring and having to jump right back up and fight before I can get a sip of water or catch a breath.  Every area of my life is in a transitional phase right now and seems so cloudy. I have to move,  work has been super crazy, relationship drama,  and financial issues all at once. It's very overwhelming and I'll be honest and say down right discouraging.  There have been nights where I have prayed and cried myself to sleep because I just don't have the wo...

Sometimes when we pray and God doesn't answer the way we expect Him to, it can make us question Him, our faith, our prayers and everything we believe.  It's easy to have faith and trust God when He answers the way we expect, but what about when He doesn't?  What about when we've prayed and believed God for a miracle and we still lose the person we were believing God to heal?  What about the husband or wife we've been waiting on for years that hasn't come?  Will you still trust Him when you've given your all and done everything you can and His answer isn't what you wanted?  What about when the answer is flat out NO?  Will you still trust Him? A few days ago my cousin had an accident and ended up in the ICU clinging to life.  We did what we knew to do.. we prayed, we sought God, we declared his healing, we believed God for a miracle, we trusted God for the impossible. As we waited and believed for manifestation of his healing on this side my family...

One of my favorite ways to encourage myself when I'm down is to find a song that speaks to my heart, stirs my soul and lifts my spirits.  One of those is the Corinthian Song by Micah Stampley.  The song is based on the scriptures in 2 Corinthians 4:8-9 "We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;  Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;" Let's be honest, life is rough sometimes and when everything around you comes crashing down all at once it can certainly get the best of you.  Sometimes you gt discouraged, your faith wavers, you feel uncertain, you lose hope, or just get down right disgusted. In this letter to the Corinthians Paul was offering encouragement during times of uncertainty.  He told them look... I know we're troubled on every side but we're not crushed... we're uncertain but not in despair, we're being persecuted right now but God hasn't left us or forgotten us,...

tran·si·tion  tranˈziSH(ə)n,tranˈsiSH(ə)n/ noun 1.the process or a period of changing from one state or condition to another. I've had so many discussions with friends and coworkers lately that are in a state of transition I had to take some time to share my feelings about it.  I was talking to a friend earlier today and I told her. like a few others, that I feel like right now my life is like the earth in Genesis 1:2 "And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters."  I told her I feel like I know a lot but nothing at the same time.  I have all of these images and glimpses of what God has shown me, words He's spoken over me, and promises He's made... but my life looks nothing like any of that. I told another friend it looks like a little kid's drawing.  They proudly come show you their picture of what appears to be a three chicken nuggets on a plate with ke...