From the Abundance

These past few weeks have been really busy for me, an emotional roller coaster ride and virtual amusement park of feelings if you will.  Father's Day was a lot harder on me than I expected and took a lot out of me emotionally.  It was my second without my daddy and not one bit easier than the first. I'm swiftly approaching month five here in Daytona Beach and though things are feeling like home, there's still that sense of being in foreign territory.  There are just some comforts of home that you lose when you move away and being able to go plop down on a friend's couch is one of them.  It may not seem like much, but if your friends are like mine, then it means the world for those few hours. I spent a lot of time in my head the past couple of weeks, thinking, praying, reflecting, questioning, and listening for answers... Not much luck in finding those answers I was seeking but I carried on.  Sometimes God's silence is the answer.  It means wait, it me...

Have you ever grieved for something that you haven't lost?  I bet you have and didn't even realize it.  I went to the movies tonight to see Me Before You and I cried my little eyes out.  It was such a great movie!  I laughed, I cried, I reflected on my own life and things I often take for granted, and I left with questions.  As I left the theater I sat on a bench and talked on the phone with a dear friend about old times and the neighborhood we grew up in. We talked about the changes, things in our lives that have changed, some things we'd hoped would have turned out other ways and things we aspire to have.  His voice became a little sad as he talked about not being able to see his daughter and how everyone around him seemed to be celebrating graduations and birthdays.  I reminded him that he wasn't alone in longing for those celebrations and someone to share them with.  I have the same issue with everyone around me celebrating births. engagem...

So I'm all settled into my new place and I'm beginning my job search.  I haven't looked for a job since Graduating from Asbury in 2012.  I loved my job and needed the two years of experience that everyone expects you to have, but no one is willing to give you a chance to earn.  I know somebody else is on this journey with me so I jut had to share some of the things that I've been experiencing. Since I moved to a new state the licensing system is completely different, the way supervision hours is handled is completely different and I find myself in foreign lands when it comes to navigating through some of these things.  No worries though, I've always been good with maps and directions!  As I sat down to begin my job search I realized I was looking for a job in an area where I was kind of rusty.  I truly believe that Social Work is my outside the walls call to ministry and that I have everything I need to be successful already ingrained in my DNA. ...

As I sit watching this beautiful blanket cover the streets, buildings, and trees I am reminded of God's love. The streets are covered with dirt, rocks, holes, oil, and trash.  Just beyond the edge of the street there's a sidewalk lined with trash cans, mailboxes, fire hydrants and other random things.  When you step beyond the sidewalk there's grass and more sidewalks, stairs and buildings, trees, more cars, and a few people braving the cold.  The amazing thing is, the snow keeps falling, keeps covering, and keeps coming back no matter how many times you try to shovel it away.  That never ending blanket covers everything.  The dirt, the grass, the mailboxes... everything covered under this beautiful blanket of snow.  The same way God covers us. His love wraps us up, covers us, and makes us new.  It covers to the point that nobody sees the dirty places in our lives, the holes and voids in our hearts get filled, the oil and residue of past ...

Like millions of other people I've belted out the words to Amazing Grace hundreds of times, but I gained a whole new understanding of the song once I truly experienced the grace of God for myself.   God being the gentleman He is, didn't stop there.  He escorted me on to the next level of glory and revelation.  There's a line in the song that says.  "I once was lost but now I'm found. Was blind but now I see" I thought about that blindness and how I was in the dark and deceived about so many things.  In case you're confused let me lead you over to 2 Corinthians 4:4, "In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them. " That god of this world is still up to his old tricks and is always trying to keep people blind and bound. It's completely different to be physically blind than mentally blind.  Though I've n...

I was sitting at my Granny's house last night and she asked me a simple but loaded question... are you ok? I gave my usual response of yeah and kept talking.  Then the Holy Ghost arrested my lips and said tell the truth.  I wasn't ok.  For the first time in a long time, I came clean.  I said you know what Granny, I'm not.  She thought I was sad about a guy but he was the furthest thing from my mind.  I wasn't even sad, more than anything I was frustrated and felt stuck. I explained to my grandmother that I don't know what to do with the place I'm in right now.  On the one hand God has shown me this amazing life that I'm supposed to have and all of the things that are a part of it but on the other hand my real life is nowhere near what I've seen.  I feel like I'm just here.  What do you do with that??  I strive to do what He wants me to do and I know some of it's just playing the waiting game but wow... Since my spirit man lives ...

  One of the things I set out to accomplish this month was writing a letter of interest and support for the upcoming ministry things that I'm working on.  So as I wrote the letter I found myself asking the recipients to make an investment in souls.  When I wrote the letter I was thinking investments in terms of planting seeds.  In the week following, I had several conversations with friends who were in the Valley of Decision, self included.  As I talked relationships with one of my friends, I asked if she was willing to invest in the guy again and give him the opportunity to get to the point he needed to be.  So later that week I was asking myself that same question. This made me think...  Investments require risk.  Anything you're willing to pour into, you have to consider if the risk is worth taking and if so, how long are you willing to wait on the return in your investment?  I thought long and hard and definitely prayed about it....

    Sometimes the hardest thing in the world is to wait on the promise of God!  Especially when He's given you a sneak peak of the manifestation.  You've seen yourself owning your own business, happily married, on a vacation, living abroad, giving away a house to a needy family, or serving meals from your own homeless facility.  Whatever it is that God has shown you, usually the hardest part is waiting. I can't speak for anybody else, but God shows me the most amazing glimpses into my future, usually while sleeping, and I can't help but want to press fast forward and get there.  I keep a dream journal beside my bed so that I can write, draw, doodle and capture what I've seen.  (If you're not already dong this, you should definitely start tonight!)  Most people forget the dream a few minutes after waking up, especially the details.  I try to write down ever detail that I remember. EVERY ONE, no matter how big or small, everything po...