From the Abundance

The last 5 months have been one of the craziest periods of my life.  I met an amazing man, lost my mom, spent almost 2 months in KY, came back to Florida and hosted my first mental health retreat, accepted a great position for mental health with Vibe Church, car broke down, got a new one, got sick and ended up in the hospital for 6 days, had a hole in my belly, diagnosed diabetic, watched one of my best friends marry the love of her life, did a week of IV antibiotics at home (I was a whole fake nurse yall), brunched with Anchor & Bloom, celebrated the newlyweds at church and give myself shots 5 times a day... whew. That was a lot!  That's just what was happening on the outside.  Inside, I was like Dorothy when the tornado scooped her up from Kansas.  A complete whirlwind of emotions.  Some days I was ok, others I was in complete shambles.  I was in disbelief at the loss of my mom but somehow calm at the same time. I was sad and devastated, but also at p...

This summer was one for the books!  I got to spend four beautiful months pouring into my youngest baby. Those of you who know me, know I don't have any biological children, but what you may not know is that I have beautiful baby girls that I get to be a bonus mom to.  So my second baby's biological mom transitioned shortly before she turned two, she's five now. When I got the call about her mom being sick, God told me she wouldn't be coming home and that I would be a part of her life for as long as God allows.  This summer was full of firsts for both of us.  My first summer being solely responsible for a child, her first summer at camp, her first flight, her first time meeting her village, her first swim lesson, my first time bringing someone home to meet my family, and my first time questioning every choice I've ever made in life.  I've never questioned wanting to be a mother or have a family but having these months with her made me question the other choices I...

What do you do when God tells you "hands off" and you're watching someone you love suffer or Photo by Samuel Martins on Unsplash struggle, sometimes in the fight of their life? You take your hands out of the situation and let them wrestle with God. You pray and watch and pray some more. You give them words of encouragement when God allows. You gather your intercessor friends to help you pray and you keep praying and covering them. It's difficult to watch somebody go through something that you could easily fix or know the solution to but God tells you no. You could help but God says you've done enough, this is between me and them. This obedience is a different kind because it requires us to stay in our place like the children we are. You can argue with ya momma or daddy but you can't argue with God.  If you're anything like me, you don't try to! You pray & cry and keep your mouth closed and your hands in your pockets. Why is this importa...

  Photo by Jason Leung on Unsplash Sometimes I have so many things I want to say but various traumas keep my mouth closed.  Sometimes it's the thought of how I'll be perceived, what my confessions and declarations will incite, who will use my words against me, and even if I'll be understood. So like Mary, I have learned to ponder things in my heart. It's not uncommon to have a thousand things going on in your head at once but you've gotta be careful not to let all those things run free for too long.  It creates this crazy invisible pressure that makes you feel like you've gotta do everything right,  by yourself,  now,  or simply like YOU HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING THAT COMES INTO YOUR MIND!  Let me tell you something,  it's a lie! Stop, breathe, and take a step back. You're not a robot,  a factory that constantly has to produce, or a superhero. You're a human...a complex spiritual being living a fleshly experience in a chaotic world. That means t...

  Photo by Kitera Dent on Unsplash Everybody loves a good fairytale and often our expectations are just that, a fairytale.  Most of the time when we see a castle, we think of fairy tales and happy endings.  I can't help but think about a lot of the other things that happen behind palace walls while the outside world is fantasizing about being on the inside. Think about Bathsheba, minding her business taking a bath, and becoming the object of the king's desire.  Her life was turned upside down because the king's lust overcame him.  She tried to do the right thing and even asked him not to, saying if you just ask my husband, he'll oblige.  Did that stop him? No!  So fast forward and now she's pregnant, but her husband's been away at war. The king tried to cover up his mess but her Husband was a dedicated soldier.  What did that win him?  A set up to be murdered. He was sent to the front lines and was murdered at the king's command. On top of a...

Photo by  Kelly Sikkema  on  Unsplash When I asked God for the gift of healing I had absolutely no idea what I was really asking for.  I just knew that when I looked around, a lot of people were sick and hurting and I wanted to do something about it.  As I got older and matured in the things of Christ, I knew that healing wouldn't be just physical.  I knew that I was in for a crazy ride when God told me, "I have to keep breaking you in order to heal them". Sounds crazy right?  It's really not. Psalm 51:17 says  My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.  I wish someone would have told me what I was asking for when I asked God to break my heart with the things that break His heart.  That's a big, crazy, bold prayer.  I could have never imagined that it would lead me down the path that is has thus far.  I said all of that to say this... if you have a friend that has h...