From the Abundance

This summer was one for the books!  I got to spend four beautiful months pouring into my youngest baby. Those of you who know me, know I don't have any biological children, but what you may not know is that I have beautiful baby girls that I get to be a bonus mom to.  So my second baby's biological mom transitioned shortly before she turned two, she's five now. When I got the call about her mom being sick, God told me she wouldn't be coming home and that I would be a part of her life for as long as God allows.  This summer was full of firsts for both of us.  My first summer being solely responsible for a child, her first summer at camp, her first flight, her first time meeting her village, her first swim lesson, my first time bringing someone home to meet my family, and my first time questioning every choice I've ever made in life.  I've never questioned wanting to be a mother or have a family but having these months with her made me question the other choices I...

This may be one of the realest posts I've ever written but there are just some things that I  need to get off of my chest.  For the past few weeks I haven't written much of anything.  I've been in a funk and maybe even slightly depressed.  Life has been whooping my tail.  Honestly I feel like Martin when he fought Tommy Hitman Hearns. The level of weariness I've felt in my spirit has been beyond exhausted. I feel like I've been fighting and fighting then falling into my corner of the ring and having to jump right back up and fight before I can get a sip of water or catch a breath.  Every area of my life is in a transitional phase right now and seems so cloudy. I have to move,  work has been super crazy, relationship drama,  and financial issues all at once. It's very overwhelming and I'll be honest and say down right discouraging.  There have been nights where I have prayed and cried myself to sleep because I just don't have the wo...

  I have a habit of collecting spiral bound notebooks.  I don't collect them because I just love paper, but because I use them to write important information.  I always use one to write my church notes and I have another I keep near my bed specifically for recording dreams.  I have another one that I  use for ministry ideas and brainstorming and one that I write sermons in.  These little notebooks that line my self are my lighthouses... When I get in dark places, moments of doubt, insecurity, wavering faith, or even just flat out weariness.. I can go back to these notebooks and get reminders of what God has spoken to me through the years.  I can see things He's shown me in dreams and visions that haven't manifested yet. Just like real lighthouses, these little notebooks and the treasures in them shed light on subjects and seasons of my life.  When I need direction, I can go back and flip the pages to see what God has spoken about specific pray...

Yesterday I went to the beach for what was supposed to be a short meeting and an interview for an online show, So What's The Problem.  We ended up staying at the beach for almost 5 hours.  It was such an amazing blessing and was much needed.  Sometimes you never realize how much you need something until you have it.  We had our meeting, did the interviews, frolicked in the water and talked about a thousand things.  I am so thankful for my new Daytona Beach family away from home. While they were out playing in  the water I took some time to walk and pray, like I usually do when I'm at the beach.  There's just something majestic about standing at the ocean.  You realize how small you really are in the scheme of God's vast creation, yet see the beauty in the fact that He knows the number of hairs on your head and bottles your tears.  It amazes me every time!  I am constantly in awe of God , his creativity, and love for us. Yesterday a...

Have you ever grieved for something that you haven't lost?  I bet you have and didn't even realize it.  I went to the movies tonight to see Me Before You and I cried my little eyes out.  It was such a great movie!  I laughed, I cried, I reflected on my own life and things I often take for granted, and I left with questions.  As I left the theater I sat on a bench and talked on the phone with a dear friend about old times and the neighborhood we grew up in. We talked about the changes, things in our lives that have changed, some things we'd hoped would have turned out other ways and things we aspire to have.  His voice became a little sad as he talked about not being able to see his daughter and how everyone around him seemed to be celebrating graduations and birthdays.  I reminded him that he wasn't alone in longing for those celebrations and someone to share them with.  I have the same issue with everyone around me celebrating births. engagem...

And Elisha said unto her, What shall I do for thee? tell me, what hast thou in the house? And she said, Thine handmaid hath not any thing in the house, save a pot of oil. 2 Kings 4:2  This text seems so simple at first glance but when the Pastor was reading the text in its entirety to tell the widow's story it was the last part of verse two that grabbed me like a kid in the trick or treat bowl.  I heard the words I have nothing... but a pot of oil.  That word arrested me so fast, so completely and utterly knocked me over.  Let me explain why. It wasn't the fact that the widow didn't have anything but more so that she didn't realize the value of what she actually did have.  The oil!!  If you've got the oil you have everything you need.  The woman didn't just have oil, she had a pot, or a VESSEL.. (catch me in the spirit).  The woman had oil but she also had a place for the oil to be kept.  The same thing has to be true for us. In or...

This past weekend the church I've been attending was in revival and My God was it an amazing time in the Lord.  The atmosphere of sheer expectancy was breathtaking.  I love being in a place full of believers hungry for more of God!  There's something spectacular about being under the downpour of heaven. Sitting in that room filled with hundreds of believers anticipating the infilling and downpour of the Holy Spirit gave me a small glimpse of what the Day of Pentecost must have been like. Imagine being surrounded by a room full of people only there for one thing... the Holy Spirit! This revival was unlike any I've ever been a part of.  Not because the service was so different or the songs were special or even the preachers.  They were all great.  The thing that was different was me.  Each service I went in expecting God to show up and move like never before.  I expected miracles, signs, and wonders.  I expected somebody to be healed, deli...

I've been in Daytona Beach for three months now and it's beginning to feel more like home.  I've made a few friends, found a couple of places where I can go and get good word and have great encounters with God, gotten involved in some thing to help with my writing and have tackled the first round of job interviews.  I'm not worried about a job or making money because I know that will come.  God taught me how to wholly lean on Him for everything I need. Last week I sent out my weekly message that encouraged us not to trade our deadlines for God's timeline.  It's something that I remind myself of constantly. That reminder came again over the weekend.  If you know me, you know that I've always loved everything artistic and creative.  One of my dreams has always been to have my own line of merchandise; clothing, accessories, interior decor items and the whole nine. I was offered the opportunity to join the design team for an online retailer.  At first ...

Yesterday I spent a good part of the day in the library, working and writing.  I needed a quiet place that wasn't my house.  I finished up there and ran to the store to grab a couple of things I'd forgotten the previous day.  On the way out I had the opportunity to talk with a homeless man. He was sitting on the ground eating breakfast (by this time it was late afternoon) he'd gotten out of the dumpster at steak and shake.  He asked me if I had $.47 so he could get a drink. I gave him all the cash I had in my purse, it wasn't much but I was glad I had some cash to give. I stood and talked with him and offered him some of the snacks I had in my my hand  but he didn't want to take  anything away from me. I told him I didn't mind sharing and it would be my pleasure but he told me he was diabetic.  It touched me in such an incredible way that someone with nothing was worried about me not having enough.  I asked his name and if I could pray wit...

Luke 12:48 tells us that to whom much is given much is also required. I just wanted to take a minute to tell myself as well as remind you, that much is required of us.  No matter our titles, positions, accolades, posts, education, training, posture, works, or level of faith, God is requiring more. God blesses us to be a blessing to others.  I don't know about you but I am beyond blessed.  I have the full function of all my limbs, I'm in my right mind, I have everything I need, I''m forgiven, I've been redeemed, I have joy & peace, I feel safe, and I serve a God that truly understands every part of my being.  I know a lot of people get upset or angry with God when bad things happen and say how could such a loving God allow this, or how would a God who heals allow so much pain, etc. If you look at all that Jesus went through to take away our sins, to allow us that gift of healing and eternal life our light suffering is nothing.  Could you imagine the we...

Today I had the most frustrating day I've had in a while.   I went to my "river front office" and tried to take a walk.. that didn't help.  I tried listening to music but that didn't help either.  SO I went to the- grocery store to wander the aisles and find some fruit and icecream... then I did what I love to do when I'm frustrated.. I cooked. I cam home and opened a full out assault on my kitchen.. I grabbed ingredients, pots, knives, a skillet, some broth and as the old folks say.. got the pots stinkin.  As I stood in my kitchen and chopped veggies the tension eased up, (I talk, think and sometimes pretend I have a cooking show), my mind stopped racing and I was able to calm down.  As the veggies went into the skillet, I added my second layer of seasoning, a blackening seasoning I got at the farmer's market, and let them cook for a while.  I tasted and the flavors were not coming through like I wanted them to.  I went back to the spice rack (it ...

One of my favorite worship songs is Oceans (Where feet my fail).... It's a beautiful song about stepping out beyond where we know our feet can carry us.  If I were to guess I would say that this song was inspired by the story of Peter walking on the water (Matthew 14:22-33). The chorus of the song says... Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders Let me walk upon the waters Wherever You would call me Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander And my faith will be made stronger In the presence of my Savior If you stop and think about the faith it would have taken to step out of a boat and actually believe that you could walk on water... I don't know about anybody else but I probably wouldn't have stepped out in the first place.. I'm not a real strong swimmer and I don't even like to go in the 12 ft end of the pool.  So imagine all that Peter must have been wrestling with on the inside... It was late at night, they're on a boat that's b...