From the Abundance

The past two years have been an amazing journey for me to say the least.  I quit my job, went to grad school, became a minister, moved into my own place, started my own business, became a nationally published writer, graduated and got my Masters degree, became a licensed Social Worker, entered a relationship, became a pastor, helped plant a church, and sooo many other things.  God gets all the glory because if you had asked me about any of it, the only things I'd probably say maybe to are writing, and the business... It all started in prayer.  I asked God what it was that He wanted me to do, how He wanted me to do it, and simply trusted Him to handle the details.  Was it easy?  not always... has it been worth it?? Absolutely!!  Have I lost some things/people along the way??  you better believe it!  But for everything/one I lost God has added so much more... Throughout this process I had so many questions and so many concerns but God always sai...

but perception is everything.  I say that to say this... often times the very things we think we have are the complete opposite of what we actually have.  For example, you may have a great job offer...they pay is great, the hours are good, ya get good benefits..but you only get paid once a month, the deductible on the insurance is outrageous, the benefits have vacation time, but no sick time...  So yes you perceive that you possess something wonderful but it's not so great after all.  The same applies to anything in life and especially the spiritual aspects.  If you don't have perception when it comes to your spiritual life you may find yourself in a load of trouble.  Perception is defined as : The ability to see, hear, or become aware of something through the senses. The state of being or process of becoming aware of something in such a way. So in the spirit, perception can be likened to discernment.  In order to have discern...

It's easy to get caught up playing the superhero and coming to everyone else's rescue only to realize that you're the damsel in distress tied to the train tracks.  I don't know about you but I'm definitely guilty when it comes to this.  As lives, positions, titles and responsibilities change so do uniforms, roles and expectations... and if you're not careful you may find yourself where I was just a few days ago. Sitting in my bathroom crying uncontrollably tearing through rolls of toilet paper to blow my nose just so I could breathe... because the weight of everything I was carrying had gotten to be too much.  The levees broke, the dam failed, and the floodgates came crashing open.  I had gotten to the point where I could not carry one more burden, hold in another word that I wanted to scream at someone, fight back another tear, suppress my own needs for the needs of others or continue on the path I was on.  I broke down... and I couldn't even form t...

For the longest time I've always told myself "tell people how you feel while you have the chance, you never know when you might not."  Well I can't say that I've held to that word... most of the time I do but recently I've found myself having to tear down some more walls.  Funny how you think you're done with demolition and you turn around to find another hallway that you didn't realize was there... So last night was my date night with myself.  I made myself dinner, got a nice fuzzy blanket, curled up on my couch and read a great book and watched a movie.  As I read the book I saw a lot of myself in the characters.  It was a romance novel (hey don't judge me.. lol) and the two parties had both faced difficult pasts and trials that deeply scarred them.  They were both paralyzed by fear and about to miss out on something wonderful because of it.  Many times we limit ourselves because we're afraid... afraid we'll fail, being alone, afraid...

Ok, so this is where I have to just be really transparent and tell on myself... lately I have been getting quite a bit of attention from the opposite sex... if you know me, you know I'm not one to put myself out there to intentionally attract attention.  I'm perfectly fine laying low and being in the background.  So anywho I started thinking about the purpose of this attention (and it's mixed.. some positive, some the wrong kind in every way) and I came to the conclusion that it's all a part of this slurry of stuff, this transition period and even an old trick of the enemy.    One of the desires of my heart is to be married and have a family, not just for the sake of being with somebody or to have a big lavish wedding.  I truly desire a Godly marriage where my husband and I do ministry together, raise a family together, and honor God with our life and marriage.  Well, when you're still waiting.... hmmph.. the devil gets real busy sending dummies, decoys, ...

I started a different blog but had to sit that one aside to have a personal therapy session through writing.  I don't know about anybody else, but right now I'm feeling all kinds of crazy.  I can't quite describe what it is, how I feel, what's on my mind.. it's almost like every botton got pushed at once and I'm on overload. UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!! Feeling this way is so frustrating.  I can't get my thoughts focused, can't get my emotions together, i feel like I'm on the inside of a salad spinner and everything is all over the place.   Jesus!! That's all I can manage to pray right now.  That, and Lord you know!  Tap me out, ya girl is done!  So tonight.. I'm making me some cocoa.. gonna put on some music and just sit at my kitchen table and have a long talk with Jesus.  I can't even pray all that "Father God..." type of prayer tonight.. we just need to have a good ol sit down heart to heart.  It's proba...

  One of my favorite authors and poets is Dr. Maya Angelou.  I love listening to her recite it because nobody else can do it quite the way she does.  There's something about the wisdom in her voice, the experience behind her eyes and the emphasis and inflection of her words.  When I was in high school I read the first part of her autobiography, I know Why the Caged Bird Sings, and always wondered why she had chosen that title.  I read the book and began to understand, but as I kept on living, I found out for myself.  Birds are built for flight.  Their aerodynamic bodies, wings, feet, even the placement and pattern of their feathers enhance the bird's ability to soar.  When a bird is in it's natural element it flies effortlessly, picks up and goes as it pleases, coasts on the wind and flies above the environment it was born in.  So in case you haven't made the connection yet, let me help you out.... Each of us were created with specif...