Ok, so this is where I have to just be really transparent and tell on myself... lately I have been getting quite a bit of attention from the opposite sex... if you know me, you know I'm not one to put myself out there to intentionally attract attention. I'm perfectly fine laying low and being in the background. So anywho I started thinking about the purpose of this attention (and it's mixed.. some positive, some the wrong kind in every way) and I came to the conclusion that it's all a part of this slurry of stuff, this transition period and even an old trick of the enemy.
One of the desires of my heart is to be married and have a family, not just for the sake of being with somebody or to have a big lavish wedding. I truly desire a Godly marriage where my husband and I do ministry together, raise a family together, and honor God with our life and marriage. Well, when you're still waiting.... hmmph.. the devil gets real busy sending dummies, decoys, recalls, rejects, reruns, and just flat our wrongs. With that being said, I am not ignorant of his devices so I know much of this is intended to distract and delay me, as well as destroy what God is putting together.
Of course we all like to feel appreciated, wanted, loved, etc... it's part of our make up, (especially as women see Genesis 3:16) but we have to make sure we're not seeking or craving attention for the wrong reasons. CHECK YA MOTIVES!! I know I constantly try to check my levels, as my pastor would say, and make sure I'm in line with God. Yes it's nice to be complimented and admired and all of those things but if I go out seeking that attention because I'm bored, lonely, not getting the attention I want from home, not fully healed of past issues, have rejection issues or whatever... then I'm just like the hypocrites...
And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. Matthew 6:5 NIV
Even going back up to verse one and ending with this verse, the message is the same... Check your motives! Doing anything to be seen and noticed by men gives you your reward.. instant gratification. Yet the scripture also tells us that we have no reward with our Father in heaven (v1). I can't imagine a few moments of feeling like the center of attention is anywhere near comprable to the rewards awaiting us in Heaven.
But how often do we trade those rewards for the fleeting moments of quick praise, applause, a compliment, credit, or someone's attention? I can't say I'm innocent of this crime, but in the case mentioned above.. I am innocent! However, It took me back to a time when my plea wouldn't have been truthful. I used to LOVE catching an eye, turning a head, or garnering a compliment. Not so much because I have self esteem issues or that's what made me feel good about myself. I more so liked it because it showed other people that just because I'm full figured, that doesn't mean I can't garner the same attention as a smaller woman. Not that I felt any less beautiful, any less worthy or deserving, or any of that.
Growing up and being chunky you deal with and hear other people's ideas about what you're entitled to because of your size, what you should and shouldn't have, who you should or shouldn't be able to date, and a million other things... Well I did, I can't speak for everybody. I remember having friends (so called anyway) who would trip because the guy they liked was interested in me. They just couldn't believe he would like me because after all, "you have a cute face for a big girl" or "you're alright for a big girl.. I guess". Either way, I couldn't worry about it.. I was just as confident, often times more, than they were. I've never had self-esteem issues (courage issues... maybe, but not self-esteem) and have always felt I can do, be and have whatever I wanted. For the most part, I have.
Even though I didn't want the attention because I wanted the guys, it was still for all the wrong reasons. I didn't have anything to prove to anybody, so I was just like the hypocrites. Instead of sharing with them why I had such great confidence and believed in myself so much, I carried on and enjoyed every minute of it. I also got my reward.. that measley attention. I'm so glad I'm over it! Praise God for deliverance. Now, I can't worry about it... if ya see me ya do, if ya don't oh well..
When I receive a compliment I say thank you and keep it moving. I also take the time to let those giving the wrong type of attention that they're barking up the wrong tree. I politely let them know I appreciate their observation, point them to Jesus and invite them to visit The Revolution Mark 16/20... You never know what someone's entry point into the kingdom will be.
So next time you get a great deal of attention, have the opportunity to do something that will draw attention, or put you at the center... check your motives and think about what you're going to do with the platform given....
One of the desires of my heart is to be married and have a family, not just for the sake of being with somebody or to have a big lavish wedding. I truly desire a Godly marriage where my husband and I do ministry together, raise a family together, and honor God with our life and marriage. Well, when you're still waiting.... hmmph.. the devil gets real busy sending dummies, decoys, recalls, rejects, reruns, and just flat our wrongs. With that being said, I am not ignorant of his devices so I know much of this is intended to distract and delay me, as well as destroy what God is putting together.
Of course we all like to feel appreciated, wanted, loved, etc... it's part of our make up, (especially as women see Genesis 3:16) but we have to make sure we're not seeking or craving attention for the wrong reasons. CHECK YA MOTIVES!! I know I constantly try to check my levels, as my pastor would say, and make sure I'm in line with God. Yes it's nice to be complimented and admired and all of those things but if I go out seeking that attention because I'm bored, lonely, not getting the attention I want from home, not fully healed of past issues, have rejection issues or whatever... then I'm just like the hypocrites...
And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. Matthew 6:5 NIV
Even going back up to verse one and ending with this verse, the message is the same... Check your motives! Doing anything to be seen and noticed by men gives you your reward.. instant gratification. Yet the scripture also tells us that we have no reward with our Father in heaven (v1). I can't imagine a few moments of feeling like the center of attention is anywhere near comprable to the rewards awaiting us in Heaven.
But how often do we trade those rewards for the fleeting moments of quick praise, applause, a compliment, credit, or someone's attention? I can't say I'm innocent of this crime, but in the case mentioned above.. I am innocent! However, It took me back to a time when my plea wouldn't have been truthful. I used to LOVE catching an eye, turning a head, or garnering a compliment. Not so much because I have self esteem issues or that's what made me feel good about myself. I more so liked it because it showed other people that just because I'm full figured, that doesn't mean I can't garner the same attention as a smaller woman. Not that I felt any less beautiful, any less worthy or deserving, or any of that.
Growing up and being chunky you deal with and hear other people's ideas about what you're entitled to because of your size, what you should and shouldn't have, who you should or shouldn't be able to date, and a million other things... Well I did, I can't speak for everybody. I remember having friends (so called anyway) who would trip because the guy they liked was interested in me. They just couldn't believe he would like me because after all, "you have a cute face for a big girl" or "you're alright for a big girl.. I guess". Either way, I couldn't worry about it.. I was just as confident, often times more, than they were. I've never had self-esteem issues (courage issues... maybe, but not self-esteem) and have always felt I can do, be and have whatever I wanted. For the most part, I have.
Even though I didn't want the attention because I wanted the guys, it was still for all the wrong reasons. I didn't have anything to prove to anybody, so I was just like the hypocrites. Instead of sharing with them why I had such great confidence and believed in myself so much, I carried on and enjoyed every minute of it. I also got my reward.. that measley attention. I'm so glad I'm over it! Praise God for deliverance. Now, I can't worry about it... if ya see me ya do, if ya don't oh well..
When I receive a compliment I say thank you and keep it moving. I also take the time to let those giving the wrong type of attention that they're barking up the wrong tree. I politely let them know I appreciate their observation, point them to Jesus and invite them to visit The Revolution Mark 16/20... You never know what someone's entry point into the kingdom will be.
So next time you get a great deal of attention, have the opportunity to do something that will draw attention, or put you at the center... check your motives and think about what you're going to do with the platform given....
(John 12:32) Jesus said If I be lifted up....
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