From the Abundance

  I have a habit of collecting spiral bound notebooks.  I don't collect them because I just love paper, but because I use them to write important information.  I always use one to write my church notes and I have another I keep near my bed specifically for recording dreams.  I have another one that I  use for ministry ideas and brainstorming and one that I write sermons in.  These little notebooks that line my self are my lighthouses... When I get in dark places, moments of doubt, insecurity, wavering faith, or even just flat out weariness.. I can go back to these notebooks and get reminders of what God has spoken to me through the years.  I can see things He's shown me in dreams and visions that haven't manifested yet. Just like real lighthouses, these little notebooks and the treasures in them shed light on subjects and seasons of my life.  When I need direction, I can go back and flip the pages to see what God has spoken about specific pray...

I saw this post on Instagram and had to steal the picture because it was the exact sentiments of where I am right now.  2016 has been a season of transition in every area of my life and I have truly embodied the sentiments of this picture. When I moved to Florida I walked away from everything familiar and had no idea what I would be walking into... I just obeyed God and came. I knew I was leaving behind my family and friends, my home, my favorite places and things, but I didn't know I would be leaving behind me.  Now don't get me wrong, I'm still me, but the me that I assumed I was got left behind.  That me was the one that was pieced together with everyone else's expectations, goals, aspirations, hopes, dreams, and ideals for and of me.  Not the ones I'd created for myself or the ones God had given me in dreams and visions.  I'd always assumed I wanted certain things and wanted them a certain way but I quickly learned that sometimes the very thing we ...

Sometimes you meet the greatest people in the most unexpected places...  This past week I had the pleasure of meeting two!  I was on the plane headed home for Thanksgiving and noticed the lady next to me sniffling and coughing.  My initial thought was, oh great she's sick and hacking all over the place. When I looked over at her I realized that she wasn't ill but she was wiping away tears my first thought was to talk to her.  I didn't want to pry and ask what was wrong but I just hoped to lighten the mood and maybe take her mind off of things for a minute.   I stuck up a conversation and just asked if she was going home or visiting friends.  I was so unprepared for what she would say next. She told me that her one and only son had passed away 6 weeks ago and she was flying back to Lexington to meet her brand new granddaughter for the first time.  She couldn't quite explain the cornucopia of emotions she was feeling all at once.  How can you fe...

Every day I get up with hopes of making a difference or doing something great.  Some days I feel like I've helped someone, changed a life, walked in purpose or at least let the love of Christ shine through me without dark spots. Days like today, I felt like an absolute failure in all of those areas... My day at work was bananas.  It really all started last night when I got called out to do an intake after hours.  I met the family and after a lot of hesitation, reluctance, and some tears... got them to a safe place.  There was soo much drama over something simple.  SO this morning, this mom starts calling my phone at 6 am, I didn't hear it but she called my Family Advocate, who was unaware that we even had a new case.  LOL  Good morning to her!! I get to work and meet with my boss to give her my observations and then meet with the DCF supervisors and my program to staff the case. As soon as that's done my advocate and I run out the door to meet th...

Every year I try to do a post on or very close to my birthday and this year's birthday is quite a bit different than any other I've had so far.  This is the first birthday I've spent away from my family & friends.  Although I'm blessed with sweet friends and co-workers here that have made my day special, I've kept it pretty low key today.  I spent the day working, helping families and walking in purpose. The past year has been filled with transitions and changes and learning experiences. For the first time ever I've had to walk through things without my support network being close by and it's been so eye opening. I feel like I'm stepping into adulthood for the first time for real.  You never know what you're really capable of until that safety net is gone.  I've experienced some of the most trying times of my life over the past two years and when God relocated me it was a chance to start fresh and step out into purpose and obedience. I...

Each week when I blog I try to choose an image that is fitting and somewhat goes along with the post.  I chose this historical marker for several reasons.  It's a perfect visual for what God was speaking to me.   Let's start with the title, Hidden Truths.  As I've been on this journey of allowing God to heal the broken pieces of my heart He's been revealing Hidden Truths.  Things that have been true from the beginning but hidden away in the recesses of my mind and heart.  Some things were hidden to the point that I didn't even realize they were true.  The main one is the entire reason for this blog, but I'll get to that in a minute. The truth is, I'd been pouring out of a broken vessel.  The truth is, at times I was running on fumes of the Holy Ghost.  The truth is, sometimes I've been so disappointed I wanted to walk away and not do anything ministry related.  The truth is sometimes the people I'm required to minister to do m...

One of the many things I've learned over the past few years is that just because there's a scab on something, doesn't mean it's healed.  When I had my first spider bite it was pretty nasty. The hole in my leg was so deep I could stick my finger in it.  After it was cut open and packed it began healing from the inside and the outside at the same time.  A layer of skin grew over and closed the hole in my leg but it still wasn't healed on the inside.  I had to go pull that layer of dead skin off and leave the hole exposed so that the wound could heal from the inside out.. Each day I had to clean the wound out and apply Neosporin... I had to expose it, clean it, oil it... expose it, clean it, oil it... expose it clean it oil it... every day for several weeks. I don't know if anybody else has been on God's operating table for open heart surgery but I just found out I was on the table in the middle of a marathon surgery.  When God began to show me the con...

There is a certain place reserved just for God and sometimes we neglect that place and spend too much time away.  What is this place I speak of?  Worship, Bethel, the place where God lives.  Sometimes we get too busy trying to handle things on our own, make it through the day, or just survive to the next moment that we forget we have a secret place.  We stay out of the presence of God and wonder why we can't hear, why we aren't getting breakthrough, why we aren't seeing healing, why we feel powerless, why our families are falling apart, why everything around us seems to be in chaos... I can't even begin to explain what it feels like to be in the presence of God and do it  justice but there's just something so special and amazing about being in that place.  You can pour our your heart, bare your soul, your deepest fears, your frustrations, your hurt, your anger, your confusion, your impatience... and be completely naked before God's presence.  It...

The past week has been catastrophic for those in the path of Hurricane Matthew.  My heart is overwhelmed for Haiti and all of the families who lost loved ones, everything, and those who are in the process of repairing and rebuilding.  I was fortunate not having any damage or loss personally nor within my close circle of friends.  We're truly blessed to have survived with minimal damage in comparison.   Matthew was my first hurricane and I used the time to think, write, pray, enjoy fellowship with friends, eat Reese's minis, and be amazed by God in a whole new way.  As my friends and I sat in the house hearing and watching the storm range all around us,  the house was peaceful. We could hear the wolf whistles of the winds,  the thrashing trees, and the water pounding down like golden gloved fists of fury. The storm shutters clanged and banged against the neighbors house like tangled tin cans yet the house was peacefully quiet. .. I wa...

It's taken me a while to get to the place where I could write this blog.  I've been struggling with writing for the past few weeks and hadn't really realized why.  Tonight all of that changed.  I needed some couch time, for those who don't know me couch time is when my friends and I play therapist for one another.  I'm fortunate that most of my close friends are actually social workers, therapists or ministers/Pastors.  So I was talking to one of my friends an explaining to her all the things that had been going on in my head, the things God had been showing me about myself and how I'd just been a bit overwhelmed with it all.  Then it hit me.  The light bulb came on and I knew exactly why I was struggling and what I was struggling with. I'm in a season where everything in my life is new.  New city, new state, new people, new church, new job, new relationship, new everything... That's all great but what I forgot was that with all that newness ...

About a year ago I was having a conversation with a friend and we were talking about God's instructions and being obedient when He speaks.  Fast forward to a couple of days ago and that same word was spoken by another friend with myself and the first friend present for the conversation.  I can't begin to explain to you how excited I was.  God had just awakened me from a deep sleep with a specific set of instructions, then sent vessels to confirm it.  It didn't take a long time, it didn't take a bunch of extra stuff.  It was a simple coming together of believers. In the initial conversation I had with my friend she spoke to me about how things would start to fall into place once I started to move in obedience.  It's been an amazing journey so far and I can't even express all of the things God has done and is doing.  This morning on the Prayer call Bishop Walker was speaking from Psalm 23:2 on the topic of He Knew what I needed...  Rest, Resto...

Over the weekend I did my usual #Saturdayscopes and invited my friend to share a story of her current dating chronicles.  There were several live viewers, a few replay viewers and I thought it went well.  Later that evening I called my mom about something totally unrelated and she quickly expressed her disapproval of my conduct during my #Saturdayscopes.  She told me I was unprofessional and unbecoming of a minister and that I needed to do better.  She admonished me for eating on camera and laughing to the point that I was choked up.  I chose not to respond and told her that I was not going to have this discussion with her at that time.  I was in physical pain, my patience was lo and I wasn't in the mood for arguments. Now don't get me wrong, I agree that I should not have been eating on camera.  I hadn't been up until the point that I flipped the camera back around and took one bite of the donut.  I immediately realized my mistake and put t...

There's a time in everyone's life where you feel like you've failed God.  It may be in word, deed, thoughts, a broken vow... lots of things. The great thing bout God is, He won't let you stay there.  Even when you have utterly failed Him, intentionally failed Him, repeatedly failed Him, or combined all three and EPICALLY FAILED Him.. He won't let you stay there. He has this amazing way of letting you know that He still needs you, still wants you, and still chooses you.   Not to say that you might not get a spanking first, but He always picks you up and lets you know that you're still His beloved.  There are countless times when we will make mistakes, make the wrong decisions, move out of God's timing or will, or just flat out be in flesh and sin. God already knows.  He knew before we were even formed in out mother's womb.  He factored all of that in when He declared our end from the beginning.  I'm so grateful that God's mind is greate...

There are certain things that we're all hoping and believing for but sometimes life make it extremely difficult to hold on to that belief.  Circumstances and situations have a way of shaking that belief, diminishing the level of belief or just wiping it out altogether.  I'm believing God for some cray big things but right now I'm not seeing the manifestations of any of it. For the most part I'm fine with waiting and trusting that it will come, but in some things  I feel like it's almost impossible or I'm like gees can it happen already.. I've been waiting x # of years/months and nothing!!  Don't get me wrong, I have crazy big outrageous faith to trust and believe God for the impossible or pretty close to it, but I'm still human. Being in this fleshly body my impatience sometimes gets the best of me. In Mark 9 there's a story of a man whose son had plagued by a deaf & dumb spirit since childhood.  The spirit would throw him down, caus...

Photo Credit: South Valley Church It's not often that the Lord speaks to me during prayer and tells me to share what he has spoken but today as I stood in praise and worship He spoke very clearly and impressed upon my heart to share His words. "For I am overcome with grief says the Lord.  Weeping will endure for more than the night but I will come in the night and deliver my people.  Woe I say unto them who do not hear.  Time is drawing near for the Son of Man's return.  Take up your cross NOW.. follow me me NOW.. For I am with you.  Until the end of the age will I cry unto thee... Seek me and you will find my face.. Hear me and I will answer.  Come to me and I will heal. Seek me for I am nigh.. SEEK ME, FIND ME." After speaking these words He took me back to Abraham's intercession for the city of Sodom and showed me how he kept coming back on their behalf.  This is what we need to do.  I read the story again when the Lord had fini...

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Ephesians 6:12 This is what I keep having to remind myself every time I see an unarmed person of color killed in the news.  It's completely out of control and I feel so many things all at once.  I'm saddened that for a certain group of policemen, black and brown lives don't matter, I am sickened by people that feel their privilege gives them the right to take another life carelessly and without remorse or punishment,  I'm angry at the abuse of power and position, outraged at the media and their ridiculous shaming of the deceased, beyond disgusted at the blatant and subtle racism that is devouring our country, deeply concerned for our future generations of black/brown babies, and ashamed that many with platform do not use it for what matters.  I don't speak much on these things p...