Have you ever grieved for something that you haven't lost? I bet you have and didn't even realize it. I went to the movies tonight to see Me Before You and I cried my little eyes out. It was such a great movie! I laughed, I cried, I reflected on my own life and things I often take for granted, and I left with questions. As I left the theater I sat on a bench and talked on the phone with a dear friend about old times and the neighborhood we grew up in.
We talked about the changes, things in our lives that have changed, some things we'd hoped would have turned out other ways and things we aspire to have. His voice became a little sad as he talked about not being able to see his daughter and how everyone around him seemed to be celebrating graduations and birthdays. I reminded him that he wasn't alone in longing for those celebrations and someone to share them with. I have the same issue with everyone around me celebrating births. engagements, anniversaries, graduations... and I have none of those things to celebrate of my own.
I thought about it for a minute and took a deep breath as we simultaneously reminded each other that things happen in God's time and not ours. Even in that moment a part of me grieved the children and experiences that I haven't had, I hurt for him not being able to watch his daughter grow up and thought that these things are only for a little while. The gentleman in the movie became paralyzed from the neck down and felt as though he wasn't living his own life anymore. It was heart-wrenching to imagine that experience, but in our minds we live it every day. It's like eating a bowl of grief, each thought is a bittersweet reminder of it's fruit.
We all mourn for the lives we coulda, shoulda, woulda, mighta had, even if for a moment. It doesn't mean you're not grateful for what you have or where you are, it just natural to wonder what if and daydream of the future. In times like these I reflect back to the promises of God for my life. The things that I've kept secret and ponder in my heart like Mary did. That's why it's good to write things down. I have a little notebook filled with dreams, visions, scriptures that God drops in my spirit, and words of prophecy that I've received over the years.
It's amazing to go back through that book at see that a dream I had 3 years ago manifested 6 months ago. A vision God showed me when I was 19 is coming to pass at 36 or something that made absolutely no sense when He spoke it, is exactly what I needed for the current season. God's ways are not our ways, and I'm ever so grateful this His thoughts are not at all like ours. His ways are bigger and better than we could even imagine. Part of getting unstuck is letting go of what you've lost and embracing what you have left.
So if you find yourself struggling with your now let me encourage you by declaring life to you today. The promises of God for your life SHALL COME TO PASS. The word that God has spoken over you is your identity, is your purpose and destiny. What God has for you, is for you alone.. no man can rob you of it, no demon can destroy it, and NOTHING can stand in the way of you receiving it. May the breath of God fill you afresh, the power of God strengthen you, the peace of God overtake you and the perfect love of God cast out all fear. I pray that you be a beacon of His light to flood the lives of those around you and connected to you. I bind the spirit of worry and confusion and I loose the spirit of peace. I declare peace in your hearts and homes in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen.
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