From the Abundance

Photo by  Sydney Zentz  on  Unsplash Over the past two weeks, I've gone through some pretty big things.  I went to the hospital 3 times, was admitted and spent the night, saw my primary care  4 times and spent several days and nights in excruciating pain.  After several attempts to get some relief from the pain, I was finally sent for a CT Scan only to discover that my spine is pressing on the nerves in my spinal cord. Suddenly the thing that the rude ER nurse told me I should manage at home was a legitimate issue.  Suddenly I had a reason for screaming out in pain in the ER.  Suddenly I was a patient and not a burden.... Suddenly I went from being healthy to taking 6 different meds and being in a medicated stupor just to manage the pain.   Suddenly I had high blood pressure and high blood sugar.. the things I've worked so hard to avoid.  Suddenly, I was unable to drive or perform most of my normal functions with my left arm.  I had to depend on my mom for much of everyth

Photo by  ANDRIK LANGFIELD PETRIDES  on  Unsplash I do a post every year for my birthday reflecting on the things I've learned, what I hope for moving forward, and just where I am in life.  This year I had a different kind of birthday so I wrote a different kind of post.  Hope it still blesses somebody!  Sometimes when you're wired to give and pour out and nurture others you can feel invisible.  Most days I spend my day taking care of other people, helping families, and  keeping children from being removed from their families.  I take crisis calls, ims, and emails all day and try to be a listening ear for friends and family when needed.  Sometimes I feel like I've disappeared and all people see is the gifts, the talents, the benefit of having me around. I love that I can be and do all of those things but at times I feel like screaming , "Hey I'm human too ya know!"   "I need someone to support and encourage me."  "It would be nice to f

The post I should be writing would be entirely too long to hold anybody's attention.  It would be a stream of consciousness, dumping of the thoughts, cleaning out your brain type of post.  Instead I'll tell you what I learned during this year's hurricane.  This is my second hurricane season in Daytona Beach and this time I chose not to stay.  I was blessed to have a friend take me in and let me crash at her house.  She was a true blessing and the time during the storm was like being at a retreat.  I learned a few things this year that I really wasn't expecting to learn, but I'm glad I did. 1.  When the eye of the storm passes over, you see everything clearly.  The eye of the hurricane is usually the most pronounced part, and although chaos is raging all around it, remains fairly peaceful. In the middle of everything crazy, there's always a moment of clarity where you see exactly what you need to see.  This lesson came for me through seeing that the peopl

This may be one of the realest posts I've ever written but there are just some things that I  need to get off of my chest.  For the past few weeks I haven't written much of anything.  I've been in a funk and maybe even slightly depressed.  Life has been whooping my tail.  Honestly I feel like Martin when he fought Tommy Hitman Hearns. The level of weariness I've felt in my spirit has been beyond exhausted. I feel like I've been fighting and fighting then falling into my corner of the ring and having to jump right back up and fight before I can get a sip of water or catch a breath.  Every area of my life is in a transitional phase right now and seems so cloudy. I have to move,  work has been super crazy, relationship drama,  and financial issues all at once. It's very overwhelming and I'll be honest and say down right discouraging.  There have been nights where I have prayed and cried myself to sleep because I just don't have the words or menta

Sometimes when we pray and God doesn't answer the way we expect Him to, it can make us question Him, our faith, our prayers and everything we believe.  It's easy to have faith and trust God when He answers the way we expect, but what about when He doesn't?  What about when we've prayed and believed God for a miracle and we still lose the person we were believing God to heal?  What about the husband or wife we've been waiting on for years that hasn't come?  Will you still trust Him when you've given your all and done everything you can and His answer isn't what you wanted?  What about when the answer is flat out NO?  Will you still trust Him? A few days ago my cousin had an accident and ended up in the ICU clinging to life.  We did what we knew to do.. we prayed, we sought God, we declared his healing, we believed God for a miracle, we trusted God for the impossible. As we waited and believed for manifestation of his healing on this side my family p

One of my favorite ways to encourage myself when I'm down is to find a song that speaks to my heart, stirs my soul and lifts my spirits.  One of those is the Corinthian Song by Micah Stampley.  The song is based on the scriptures in 2 Corinthians 4:8-9 "We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;  Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;" Let's be honest, life is rough sometimes and when everything around you comes crashing down all at once it can certainly get the best of you.  Sometimes you gt discouraged, your faith wavers, you feel uncertain, you lose hope, or just get down right disgusted. In this letter to the Corinthians Paul was offering encouragement during times of uncertainty.  He told them look... I know we're troubled on every side but we're not crushed... we're uncertain but not in despair, we're being persecuted right now but God hasn't left us or forgotten us,

tran·si·tion  tranˈziSH(ə)n,tranˈsiSH(ə)n/ noun 1.the process or a period of changing from one state or condition to another. I've had so many discussions with friends and coworkers lately that are in a state of transition I had to take some time to share my feelings about it.  I was talking to a friend earlier today and I told her. like a few others, that I feel like right now my life is like the earth in Genesis 1:2 "And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters."  I told her I feel like I know a lot but nothing at the same time.  I have all of these images and glimpses of what God has shown me, words He's spoken over me, and promises He's made... but my life looks nothing like any of that. I told another friend it looks like a little kid's drawing.  They proudly come show you their picture of what appears to be a three chicken nuggets on a plate with ke

One of the most beautiful things God created is the butterfly.  Each set of wings is as unique as a set of fingerprints.  The colors, pattern, size, and shape will tell you the type but each set is different.  The most amazing thing is that butterflies aren't born butterflies,  they transform. Nobody is in awe of the beauty of a lowly caterpillar but we all marvel at a Monarch, a Swallowtail or one of the other bright colorful beauties.  Most times we don't even notice the caterpillar until it's eating one of our plants. Right now many of us are caterpillars, unnoticed,  in the foliage of life eating and growing,  staying out of the way and the limelight. .. but when I tell you our time is coming! !  The caterpillar doesn't stay lowly for long. See there's this process that it goes through called metamorphosis.  During metamorphosis, the caterpillar makes itself a chrysalis (for some it's a cocoon) and goes into isolation.  It uses a layer of skin to form

Take the rod, and gather thou the assembly together, thou, and Aaron thy brother, and speak ye unto the rock before their eyes; and it shall give forth his water, and thou shalt bring forth to them water out of the rock: so thou shalt give the congregation and their beasts drink.  Numbers 20:8 Over the past few months I've spoken about having to do the hard things that God has requested of me.  During this time I've learned a lot, been challenged, had all my buttons pushed, been chastised, had to fall on my face and cry out to God, turn my plate over, and call in reinforcements.  I can't say it's been all bad, just very uncomfortable.  I'm ok with that because I know it's a season of growth. Like Moses, I've been frustrated with the people and wanted to smith the rock, the people, the steering wheel and a couple of other things . LOL  Seriously though.  When you've been given a difficult task and you're called to serve a difficult people s

It's 2017 but it still feels like 2016.  Who else is feeling this way?  We're sitting at a very interesting place right now and I'm sure that many of you are feeling as uncomfortable as I am.  I know what God has declared for 2017 concerning my life, but I still feel 2016 on my back.  No worries though, it's almost spring and the seasons are changing.  I saw this picture and was instantly drawn to it because it was the visual representation of how I feel. Sometimes when God shows you things in the future they look just like this picture.  You can see what it is, you can tell it's a city, you can see the lights, the coastline, how many skyscrapers are on the coastline and so forth.  What you can't see is the fine details.  You can't make out the smaller buildings along the coastline, you can't tell if there are boats or not, what city it is, how many windows are on the buildings or anything.  It can be frustrating when you're trying to